I have a love/hate relationship with it. Sometimes I think, "I look pretty today" then I take a picture of myself or look in the mirror at work and I think, "Geesh, do I really look like that? Ugh, my nose, my forehead wrinkles, my dark cirlces under my eyes, my freckles!"This morning The Hubs looks at me and says, "You look really good today" and then gives me a kiss, and another and another and repeats that I look really good today.
I have this extra bounce in my step, I think to myself, Yeah, yeah I do look really good today, I feel good today. I got my skinny jeans on (and they are a new smaller size!) My hair looks cute, outfit is cute, yeah I feel good.
I brought my camera to work today and decided to document the day of how I looked and took a few snapshots (3 of which are above). Those 3, yeah those were the only good ones out of the probably 20 I took. Why does it take 20 shots to get 3 ok ones?
Learning to love and accept oneself, as is, is not an easy task, especially for me. I can be my own worst critic. I'm constantly criticizing myself in pictures and in the mirror. I'm the worst at comparing my looks to others (daily occurance). I get frustrated with my pear shaped body, my freckles and pale skin. I cry out to God and ask, why?! Why don't have this or that? Then I think, if we are unaccepting of ourself, then aren't we just telling God, "you messed up, just look at my nose! My hips! My arms!" Are we not created in His image? We are not supposed to hate our bodies but treat them as a temple.
I think I'll always struggle with accepting my face and my body--but as I get older, I'm realizing I have to work with what I got and see myself through God's eyes--or even The Hubs.
And agree with The Hubs, that, Yeah, I do really look good today.
In light of eternity and all God has done for us through Christ, I suppose my muffin top and cellulite aren't the most important matters on earth. Good thing the Lord looks at the heart. ;)
ReplyDeleteBut you do look good today! :)
xo,
Katie
This is such a good post, Erica!! I am the same way, always judging my looks and especially in pictures I always think UGH. Then other people tell me I'm photogenic and I'm like, um, what person are you looking at??? (By the way, I think you're very very pretty. :) )
ReplyDeleteIt's probably similar to the post I wrote today, about God doesn't see my sand.
I really liked when you said this:
'I cry out to God and ask, why?! Why don't have this or that? Then I think, if we are unaccepting of ourself, then aren't we just telling God, "you messed up, just look at my nose! My hips! My arms!"' I'm usually complaining about my undereye circles, my horrible bloating after every meal, and my fingers. I don't like my fingers. And so often I forget that God gave me the looks and body He gave me because that's what he wanted me to have, and that's what He saw as beautiful. I need to start seeing in the way He sees it. :)
Btw that recent comment was totally Kara, not Dave. I didn't realize I was logged into Dave's google account haha.
ReplyDelete