Life Lately...

He came home! It was a very fast 2 weeks! Doesn't he look good in uniform?!

 We actually had a date night. We only went out twice together. How lame is that? We're at Red Lobster. It was so good and even better since it was paid for thanks to a giftcard!

 Ahh...the shaved head. The worst thing about Basic Training (to me). Thankfully, hair grows. And his grows fast!

 Thanks to hubby being home, I was able to get a lot more solo running time in! Even in the snow!

 Everyone (but me) seemed to be ill during Christmas. Poor Ryan, he was sick on Christmas day!

 Doing a little shopping at a local store called G.I. Joe's! Future soldiers?!

This happened over Christmas. I had a mild heart attack, then quickly got the baby gate from the garage!

Celebrating my cousin getting married. The snow was falling and the candlelit room made it feel magical. (My army friend pointed out that Jimmy is standing at Attention! Ha!)

 Happy New Year! Feeling better and all 3 stayed up to ring in the new year. All we all slept in the next morning till 10:30.

Happy New Year! 

 Having lunch at one of our favorite places in Indy, the day Jimmy had to go back to Basic. It was just me and him that day. Much needed.

Sitting in the USO waiting for his flight to board. Not happy.

Play time!

Bath time! He loves baths and he looks so darn cute too!

I guess all the play earlier in the day wore the little man out!

Wearing his new uniform (or whatever the proper term is) to his Mixed Martial Arts class. He's getting so big.

Life lately has been...strange. It was fantastic to have Jimmy home for Christmas, but depressing to have him leave again. I'm not sure why, but it seems harder this time around. I think because this is the time he'll be gone for a total of 6 months, not the wimpy 1.5 months he was gone earlier before Christmas. He graduates in February from Basic Training, which we'll come down for the 2 days, then he goes directly to his AIT in Georgia and who knows when we'll get to head down there, the kids Spring Break possibly?

Not certain. What I am certain of is my new found respect for single mama's. Whoa. 

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...

I shouldn't be dreaming of a white Christmas living in the Midwest, but the last few years it's been way too warm (40s and 50s) and no snow! Talk about depressing! Want to know what's NOT depressing? Jimmy comes home in 4 days!!! 4 days! He'll be home for almost 2 weeks then heads back to finish his Basic Training, then goes straight to AIT in GA...till...JULY. I know that these 2 weeks will go by in a blink. I plan to soak up every second of it! He'll fly in early on Thursday and then we plan to surprise Ryan at his school class Christmas party. His teacher is excited and said she's going to have her camera ready and I hope to record his reaction on my phone!

Things have been busy at home. I've been doing lots of homemade projects for Christmas. I wanted to redecorate my home and change my style, but don't have the budget to buy all new things, so I made most of them! I've never been much of a DIY'er but I really enjoyed all my projects! Something I think I will continue to do for every season and maybe even for the home in general. Changing your style from 10 years ago is not easy...or cheap!

I've joined the 21st century and got a smartphone. Nope, not cool enough for an iPhone, but still able to get on instagram. So here are just a few instagram pics from the last few weeks.
Can you believe my baby is pulling himself up and scaling furniture? It is quite bittersweet. My baby is growing too fast. ((And YES, he is my LAST. No more babies for us!))

"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

 

 

 

holidays

'Tis the season! My favorite time of the year! However, this year has been a little...different.

(normally I would never post this icky of a picture of me, but I earned that red, sweaty, make-up free face!)

 

Thanksgiving was good. I ran my FIRST race ever! The Galloping Gobbler, 4 mile run. My dad did it with me and I'm so glad he did. It was so nice to have him run by my side! The race was crowded. Over 2,000 participants. The course was through a cemetery that had lots of hills. The problem was the road in the cemetery wasn't very wide, so it got congested easily. I wanted to do it in a 10 min. mile. 40 minutes or less. My time was 41.25. Talk about disappointment! I'm not sure if I'm being hard on myself or what, but I was really upset with the time. Sure, it was technically still a 10 min. mile, but not my goal. My friends were telling me I did great. It WAS my first race ever and I've only been running for about 2 months in my ENTIRE life....but I'm a bit competitive...even if it's with myself! Anyway, after the race I got ready and headed to my parents, where we always have Thanksgiving. There were about 40 people there including my in-laws. It just felt different with Jimmy gone. Felt like just another day that he wasn't there, missing important things.

Thankfully, he won't be missing Christmas! They get what is called, "Christmas Exodus" and are able to come home on December 20th and stay till January 2nd! I have been decorating since after Thanksgiving, and I'm STILL not done! I have decided to change up my style, slowly and one piece at a time. This will be our 10th Christmas together as a married couple and most of my things are 10 years old! I decided to do some DIY projects and will do more at a DIY party this weekend! I can't wait for Jimmy to see all the changes, I hope he enjoys them as much as the kids and I do! Here is one of the things I made, pom pom garland! (the stockings are new too!)

 

Will post more pictures of things soon. Just felt like it's been awhile and I needed to catch up with things going on with us. We're doing good. Jimmy has been gone almost a month and things, so far have gone pretty smoothly. It's only been a month though, I sure hope things continue to go smoothly for another 7 months! I'm just not sure how much I'm cut out for this military wife thing, but I know he's enjoying being at Basic and is really happy how supportive I'm being! I follow a FB page that is for his company and the Drill Sergent's wives keep up the page with pictures and what they are doing that day and things to get to know everyone. Out of hundreds of people, they finally posted some pictures of Jimmy...which was so comforting and the kids love seeing their Dad. I will say, he was NOT meant to have a shaved head! Thankfully, once he's out of basic he can keep it a little longer :)

(I edited the pic and blurred out the rest of the people)

 

21 more days till I see my man...just 21 more days!! (then he's gone till July!) This post is random and has no real direction...next one, all about my DIY projects! I'm in the crafting mood! (Thanks to my lovely cousins who did a craft for Thanksgiving and I loved doing it!)



1 week. Life Changed.

Has it really been 2 months since my last post? Things have been busy around here. Things continue to change.....

I was blessed to be able to quit my part time job and now and can stay home with the kids. Which has been great and tiring! The kids and I stay busy.With dance class, school, martial arts, life group, church, friends...life is non-stop. I'm so happy though. I'm busy, but feel I am getting a lot accomplished and I know my kids love having me home!

Something else new...I have been running! Yes, I am moving this fat butt of mine and running! It's crazy to think that I am running 2-5 miles, when in High School I couldn't even run a mile! I am ready to start doing some races. First up: Galloping Gobbler, Thanksgiving morning. Then the Jingle Bell Run, December 1st. Both are 4 milers...something at this point, I can handle! I just started a little over a month ago, so I'm no pro, but I'm actually really enjoying it!

Henry is 7 months old and ironically..Army crawling everywhere! He finds it faster and more efficient then trying on his knees. I guess he's already trying to be like his Daddy.

Speaking of Daddy...sigh...Jimmy leaves NEXT week for Basic Training!!! 1 week from now he'll be gone, already at Ft. Jackson in South Carolina. I am still quite in denial. VERY MUCH in denial. I can't believe it's really going to happen. I will be a single mama to 3 for 30 weeks....ok ok, 28. He does come home 2 weeks for Christmas..then after that, won't be home until he's done with all his training on July 1st. July 1st...might has well be a year from now, because that's what it seems. Forever. I really don't know what to think or how to feel. I think since he isn't gone yet, it hasn't hit me and most likely won't until a week or so passes and then I know I'm gonna be alone.

Be praying for me. I'm going to need it!

These are some family photos we got taken a few weeks back...might as well get them in, by the time Jimmy comes back, Henry will have changed so much...and hopefully I'll have changed too and will be thinner! :)

Photos by: Lydia at D.I.A. Images

 

life changes....

Life changes. You don't know where life will lead you, what it will teach you, how it will hurt you, how it will fulfill you. Life is exciting, challenging, fleeting and happy.

Our life is all of that.

So I'll start out with the first change of our life. The biggest change. The really trusting in God right now change!
Jimmy has decided to Join the Army National Guard. Yes. He. Did. This is something he has been thinking about for a long time.  He's always wanted to join the military. He wanted to join the  Marines out of High School, but didn't as his dad wasn't so approving. It's something he's always regretted and so that leads us to here. After months and months of us talking about it and him researching it and talking with a co-worker (who was in the Army) about it. He's decided to join. My friend is a Sergeant in the National Guard and so she sent us to the a really good recruiter. One that she trusts and respects. He isn't the kind that is in it for the numbers, but because he cares. So we met with him last week, I asked a ton of questions, we went over paperwork and he will be going Monday and Tuesday he goes to the Armory in Indianapolis (along with his recruiter) and will sign his contract.

So how will this benefit our life? Jimmy will do the Guard part time after all his training. He'll get credits for schooling, schooling will be paid, he will get a job doing something completely different (IT) and will be able to finally change his career, and be able to make more money for our family. Another good perk? The health insurance. Jimmy's insurance through work is insane! $150 a week, JUST for him and the kids. (and his work is commission based!) I'm currently not covered, and with the cost of insurance through the Guard (only $150 a MONTH) he will be able to cover our ENTIRE family and get rid of the insurance through his work. Which will save us LOTS of money..which in the end will allow me to quit my part time job and stay home full time with the kids! So for us it works. It's terrifying (for me) and exciting all at the same time. 

More life changes: 

Ryan will NOT be attending Kindergarten this year. We are keeping him back a year to mature a bit. He's made so much progress this summer with writing all his letters and now spelling words and learning to read, that I know he'll just flourish once Pre-K 2 starts. I'd rather him be ahead of the game, then fall behind. He already gets so frustrated when he can't do something right the first time. He still needs to learn to focus and take on a full day of school. Pre-K2 is just that, full day preschool. So I know he'll be really ready to start Kindergarten next year. 

Molly will also be starting preschool this year. Since her birthday falls in October, she will be in the 2 year old class instead of the 3's. Which I do hope she's not terribly bored in her preschool class this year. She is a quick learner and already knows all her ABC's, can recognize each letter, upper case and lower case, she knows all the sounds letters make (phonics) all her colors, her shapes, she can count past 20, knows all her numbers and even can read some words. I think she is picking up all this while we are teaching Ryan things...like I said she's a quick learner and she really enjoys learning!  I do think she will enjoy being with other kids and learn structure, which is always a good thing! 

Henry is getting so big, he's rolling over all the time and he loves doing it. He's still a bit wobbly and can't sit up on his own yet...I sure hope he can before he's 7 months! He's a little late in the game for that! He's teething like crazy, but nothing popping through. He's still not sleeping completely through the night, he'll fuss a bit here and there and I have to give him his paci and pat his back. He does try to scoot while on his belly, he'll try to get on his knees and scoot forward (witnessed this the first time at church in the nursery) so maybe he'll crawl before he sits up?! He loves baby food and is a good eater, he seems to be hungry all the time lately! He's happy and smiley and loves being held and cuddled and being near people. 

Life changes for me? Most of mine are still a work in progress. Running. Doing it more, loving it more, still hard as ever! Real Estate, going well, but going to put it on hold for awhile, just have to sell 2 of my listings. I just don't have the time/energy to put everything I need into it for it to be really successful and with Jimmy leaving soon that will leave me no time to devote to it. Part time gig--hopefully by next year I will no longer need to work part time! 

Life is crazy, life is busy, life is changing....and this time change is good!

Postpartum..Emotions

My little man at 1.5 months. He's getting so big, so fast.

Postpartum...Depression? I like to say Postpartum...Emotions. Since having a baby can stir up so many emotions, not necessarily just depression. I've always been honest about my emotions and feelings after having my daughter Molly. I definitely had some depression and crazy emotions after I had her. I never cried when she was born. I never really cared to hold her or kiss her much. I didn't have an overwhelming love for her. She was just...there. I would certainly hide my emotions when people would ask.."Oh a girl! Don't you just love her?! Aren't you so happy you have a little girl, now you have one of each!" I would just smile and nod and say "Yes, so happy" with out much emotion behind the words. I would try my best to smile and act like I was so in love with her and so happy to have a little girl...so happy to just have a child...but all of it was an act to  hide how I truly felt. Empty, unhappy, emotionless. I would just look at her and think she wasn't much to look at. She wasn't a very cute newborn, and thoughts of disappointment would occur. Thoughts of why she had to look so much like me, why she was so pale, and had light hair, and her nose...oh that nose, not at all small like her brother Ryan's. I always heard about Postpartum Depression and have even read books on it (Brooke Sheilds book actually). So I always knew my emotions were postpartum and prayed and prayed that I would feel the love for her that I knew I should feel and that I felt for my son. I'm not exactly sure when my feelings changed...I think when Molly was around 2.5/3 months. I remember feeding her and looking at her and it hit me. I started bawling and kissing her and thinking and saying how much I loved her. How much I truly loved her. I never told anyone how I felt until after my feelings for her changed.

Hormones do crazy things to you. I'm not sure why more women don't open up to their feelings and talk about them with other moms or moms to be. It's so helpful to relate to other moms. To not feel alone in your feelings, to be able to help other moms and to work through them together. 

This time around, I would say I have Postpartum Emotions. My birth was amazing, my love for Henry was instant, overflowing, abundant, pure, real. I beam when I talk about him, and when people ask me about him. I love him. But I also having scary emotions. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him. I can't sleep at night. I'm constantly touching him to see if he's breathing. I wake up every 1/2 hour, sometimes jolting awake and kiss him and touch him, sometimes waking him up to make sure he's alive and breathing. My fear is wicked. My fear is strong. I have all this horrible scenarios acting out in my head of him falling, getting dropped, drowning, car accidents..you name it. I also get anxiety when others hold him (yet welcome it at the same time, as the kid loves to be held all day long). I'm just not sure why my fear this time is so much stronger then the normal fears you would have after having a baby. I never had this fear as much with the other two. I honestly can't shake the fear.

 I'm also edgy, irritable, stressed, sad, tearful, annoyed and flustered. I have lots of good days, but then bad days. I have days I'm happy and cheerful and don't think much about losing Henry, or being stressed. I have days that I'm edgy, mad, stressed, crying at any little thing and won't put Henry down because I feel I can control anything that may or may not happen to him. I'm sure this all sounds crazy to some and to some...so real. 

I'm not sure when this will pass, I can only pray it passes soon. I know I have to put trust and faith in God, as I really can't control any situation like I try to. It's easy to think rationally and know that these emotions are a bit extreme...but when feeling them, they feel real and rational. I know there isn't much I can do about these feelings, I can talk about them and realize them, which I do. I know for me, I just have to let it pass on its own, like with Molly. I do encourage more of you moms to really talk about what it's like after giving birth and to really be in tune to your feelings and emotions and to not feel guilty for having them and to seek help if they get out of hand or if you just can't function. Talk to your Midwife or OB if you feel you can't function or the depression is too strong for you to handle on your own. I'm thankful I can function, I can see reality and I am aware of it. Not to say, I still don't have fear, oh I do, but I know that the extreme emotions are just the postpartum side of things and I take deep breaths, tell myself it's ok and say a small prayer for strength and peace.

I feel completely blessed to have my 3 children and I love them with every ounce of my being. I love being their mom.

1 month

My baby boy, Henry, is 1 month old! I think the more children you have the faster time seems to go. However, with him being my thrid, I'm happy time is going fast. I'm not a huge fan of the newborn stage, never have been.

He doesn't have a set schedule yet. His eating and sleep are still pretty random. They are pretty much 3 hours apart to the minute. He isn't the patient child by any means, there is no working up to crying. It's silent and then instant screaming. When he's hungry, he doesn't mess around. He's also very gassy (much like Ryan was) and spits up at every feeding. I've been good about what foods I eat...even limiting dairy...which is not easy, but it doesn't seem to matter much.

He is a decent sleeper at night, waking up only twice. He likes to be swaddled and enjoys being on his side (thanks to the sleep wedge for keeping him in place!).

He has already smiled a few times...and no I don't count these as "gas smiles". He looks right at me (and Ryan) and we make silly faces and he lights up and smiles back at us.

He is also a cuddler...oh my this kid like to be held. 24/7 if he could. I "wear" him a lot, it's the only way I can get things done around the house! He also likes the sound of the blow dryer and vacuum cleaner...just like his mama...white noise is a must!

He's getting bigger, finally filling out some of the 3 month clothing, but still a bit behind his siblings when they were his age. I'm hoping he'll catch up soon, He lost a lot of weight after he was born, and I understand it will take some time to catch up to where he should be. My milk has finally come in enough to produce what is needed (thank you fenugreek!) so at his next check up in a few weeks hopefully he's getting chunky (I love those chunky babies!).

He's getting better at holding his head up and lifting it when doing tummy time. He's very alert now and awake more during the day. He naps almost the same time as Molly does, obviously I would love eventually for them to be on the same nap schedule, but that will take some time.

Ryan loves him--ok ADORES him. Molly thinks he's cute and tries to calm him down when he's crying by saying "you're alright, you're alright, it's ok, it's ok" but she doesn't kiss or touch him much!

Having 3 kids is much harder than having 2, but we all just love him so much, it really does feel like he's always been apart of our family AND completes are family. I'm excited to continue watching him grow and learn new things!

Happy One Month my Baby Boy!